Tell me a joke, daddy!

this week has been pleasant- i have been off work since friday and have enjoyed just being home with sawyer everyday. i work tomorrow and then this weekend. zach is going to possibly attempt to take sawyer on his very first Ozarks trip this weekend while i work- should be interesting to see how zach handles sawyer without me for three days! not 100% sure on the logistics of transporting the 90ish ounces of frozen breast milk sawyer will need to be away from me that long will go... but i guess zach will figure it out. (yes i have a ridiculous amount of frozen bm..im a milk cow ok) and yes it will be terrible to be apart from them both for the whole weekend but im so tired when i work the weekends anyway AND i wont have to worry about exposing sawyer to swine flu (joking!..sorta). sawyer is ussually asleep for the night when i get home anyways. and the kid seriously adores his dad- he gives zach huge smiles when he comes home for lunch and after work. and yesterday he even gave daddy the most adorable big belly laugh! it was his first laugh- it was so cute! zach was making goofy faces at him. it was the best sound i think i have ever heard! i love it! i think now he will roll soon too- he seems so close. he has been sleeping well through the night again which is great! he also loves to read books now so we spend lots of time reading-he seems very interested in the pictures! he likes to "talk" about what i read to him.

Birthday Fun

yesterday was very fun- we went to my aunt ann's house for our joint bday party- it was aunt ann's birthday yesterday! in my family we have 5 birthdays in the same week in april, strange, i know- but mostly awesome! since friday had been my golden birthday (24 on the 24th) she had a golden birthday theme for me- with golden foods and drinks (think lemonade, cheese and crackers and organic yellow carrots!), golden silverwear, golden plates and napkins, golden flowers ect. it was awesome and i felt very special! it was much more fun than my actual birthday when i worked! sawyer was awesome all day long yesterday- he rode the whole hour there in the car without any fuss at all- which was awesome! he even took a bottle AND a nap while we were there- and then we went to babys r us, micheals and best buy and he was happy. he was fine in the car on the way home too- maybe he is over his carseat hatred now..lets hope so. zach and i looked at new laptops at best buy because zach said i could get a new one as my birthday gift!!!! yay!!! i have been using my laptop from college since our desktop decided to not recognize our web browser a few months ago....i havent figured out how to fix this yet...i need to get my pictures off of it and then reset everything and see if that works- but the deal is that zach is now going to use the desktop for midtown custom bending- his bending business and i have to transfer his files from his old shop computer to the desktop and get everything ready to go... I decided that i wanted to order my laptop online though so I could customize it the way I wanted..i got bluetooth, a tv tuner, photoshop, ect. Should be pretty sweet. I cant wait for it to come!! AND i saved over 40 bucks just by googling for a coupon- and zach made fun of me until he saw it work! Ha!
oh and sawyer is sleeping through the night again, im wondering if he was just having a growth spurt last week and that is why he was waking up at 2am wanting to eat- he is fitting in lots of his 3-6 month stuff this week so he must have grown... he is getting SO good about sleeping no though. I guess i shouldnt have obsessed over it so much because he is doing great now all on his own. He falls asleep on his own so much easier now- I can lay him in his bed after he eats and is tired and he will fall asleep- it is so awesome! Granted its not 100% of the time but's still...amazing.
When Sawyer was born cooper decided to move into our walk-in-closet to sleep, im assuming to get away from the crying- Zach lovingly dubbed the closet coopers "doggy bedroom". Now that sawyer is sleeping through the night more consistently, cooper decided that he was going to come out of doggy bedroom and sleep in his dog bed..i guess i didnt realize how much of his snoring was blocked out by him being in the closet, needless to say, dog bed now lives in doggy bedroom and we all sleep much better- coopers snoring literally woke sawyer up one night at 2am- not cool!

For my birthday I got the most adorable deck planter boxes and I can't wait to put them out and fill them up with stuff-I also have two big pots of flowers. Our deck is going to be an awesome plant oasis!! Ill put up pictures when I get everything going. I cant wait- not too much longer and then we can plant- I think after tulip time is when the last frost date is...

24 years, and 3 months old!

For comparison




















1 week






















1 month





















2 months






















3 months






Well, my birthday was fine-I worked and it was pretty busy from about 2 until I left..the day went fast and we had some pretty interesting stuff so it was not bad. I also started my first 2 IVs in 3 months- Im very proud to say that I got them both on the first try with no trouble at all :) I guess it really IS like riding a bicycle. After I started the first one I told the cute old man "ill tell you a secret, that was my first IV in three months because I just came back from maternity leave" and OH man did he think that was AWESOME! He thought it was the funniest thing and bragged to his daughter about it, and then wanted to hear all about Sawyer.
Sawyer gave me the best birthday present last night-He slept through the night again- but without the swing! He woke up at 530 but im pretty sure that if cooper hadnt been snoring SO loud that sawyer would have slept even longer! For some reason cooper decided to sleep in his dog bed last night instead of the closet and then he just wouldnt stop SNORING! Im so happy that he is now sleeping in the little "van wyk baby bed" instead of the swing so we no longer have to worry about rigging up a hammock and a motor- which is what zach said he was gonna do when i said i was afraid sawyer would bring his baby swing to college to sleep in. Now if he keeps it up for a few more nights we can move him into his crib in his very own room! He is getting better and better at sleeping- he has been starting to take better naps- not every day but its improving. He is definately better at self soothing now- a few nights ago I layed him down for bed but he woke up and was making fussy noises. I went in and gave him puppy and he gave puppy a BIG hug and then SERIOUSLY fell asleep instantly right before my eyes- it was so funny and adorable. I was in shock!
Sawyer is three months old today- it is hard to believe that it has already been three months since I had him! Time really does go so fast! He is getting SO CLOSE to giving us a big belly laugh. He laughed in his sleep again a few days ago so Im hoping it will be soon. He kinda laughs now but not a full big belly laugh. He holds his head up on his own very well, and can stand up straight in the exersaucer piano and stomp his feet very hard. I think he will be rolling over soonish too- he dosent seem to despise tummy time as much now and today I swear he was close to rolling over but he started to get cranky so I let him stop doing tummy time. He loves to talk and has so many different sounds that he can make now.

Back to the ER

Would YOU want to leave that cute little face?!















well, yesterday was my first day back at work and it went surprisingly better than i anticipated. i think it was harder on me the day before just thinking about being apart than actually having to be apart. im not saying it didnt suck to leave sawyer and be away from him all day, cuz i did miss him like crazy- i kept looking at his newborn picture that was hanging up in the nurses station. he looked so little and new- almost sad like "whoa what just happened, where am i???" and it made me want to snuggle him so bad! I had to choke back tears on the drive to work, and turn up the radio really loud.
the day was steady but not crazy, which was perfect because it made time go by quickly but it wasnt wild- we DID have a level one (heart attack) which i was afraid would happen because its one of the most serious, fast paced things that we deal with- and i didnt really want to do one on my first day back in 3 months, but we did awesome and had the pt on his/her ;) way to dm in 15 minutes- which is extraordinary!!! that made me feel pretty good afterwords, like "ok i can do this again after all" plus its kinda an adrenaline rush which is my fav part of being in the ER. also, it was awesome to get to see everyone again- i did miss all my work buddies A LOT! it was fun to get caught up on all the er gossip again- and dr h was in a good, funny mood. it helped that i got to work with "my nurse" who trained me as an intern and then new grad nurse- she is awesome and i knew she would take good care of me on my first day back AND i got to work with G and I LOVE getting to work with her as much as possible! PLUS our boss brought me the CUTEST gerber daisys in the cutest pink pail AND she also brought us all monster cookies from the bakery because she is awesome.
And Val said that sawyer did awesome too! He drank his bottles with NO fuss at all!!!! So he didn't starve while i was gone- YAY!!! He ate about 22 ounces total, and I pumped about 22 ounces yesterday, which i thought was kinda neat and funny- I used the nice hospital pump which was awesome because its fast and just AWESOME in general, i wish I could buy a hospital pump now after using it!
Val said that he even took TWO naps, and once just drifted off to sleep while laying on a blanket watching her fold laundry- um he NEVER does that for me! And I was so worried that he would freak out the whole time but he didnt. In fact today he has taken TWO good naps for me already! Which is amazing! Zach went and saw him at lunch and then after work had dinner there before coming home and he said that sawyer was just hanging out and seemed very content. Zach gave Sawyer his bath and swaddled him and had him almost asleep by the time i got home, and then i showered the icky ER germs off quick and nursed him and he slept for the first night in the Van Wyk baby bed instead of his swing- and he did fine! He woke up at 2:45 to eat but he has been doing that all week now for some reason- then i put him back in the bed and he fussed a little, but didnt cry, aand then fell asleep own his own (with just a little patting from me) after a few minutes! It was awesome- NO SWING!!
So all in all it was a much better day that I could have imagined! It couldnt have gone better. I love that Sawyer gets to spend time with his grandparents so that he will always have a good relationship with all of them. Also I think its good for him and Zach to have some time together without me around because i do NOT want zach to be one of those dads that calls taking care of their own children "babysitting" because i find that absurd- HELLO its your own child, you arent babysitting you are parenting! Its good for zach to bathe sawyer, and get him ready for bed, feed him, play with him, ect. without having to rely on me for anything- i like that!






















My pretty "welcome back dont be sad" flowers (which i can plant in our yard which makes them even more amazing!!!!)

Seriously I work with the BEST PEOPLE EVER!!!

the adventures of cooper d. dog...

well, crazy thing happened today. this morning zach let cooper outside to go potty and then went and got dressed for work- just like they do every morning. zach noticed a few weeks ago some of his work pants were starting to wear out so he had just put patches on them saturday night- so this morning he was "testing out" the strength of the patches ( that he put on himself!) and FORGOT to let cooper back inside and left for work. i of course had no idea and assumed cooper was still sleeping- as he usually dosent do much until at least noon- or later. around 12:30 i decided i would check the mail- which i do almost every day and cooper always goes with me to go potty again, so i open the door and say "come on lets check the mail and potty" like every day, but no dog shows up...so i check the mail alone and start feeling suspicious, where is coop?? i check his pillow by the slider door- no dog, i check his "doggy bedroom aka our wi closet- no cooper, i go down to the basement and check the couch and guestroom, no dog! then i got a little worried- i opened all the closets and doors wondering if he got stuck somewhere- the whole time im calling his name- suddenly i heard his little doggy cry so i call his name more but cant figure out where it is coming from because sawyer has began to protest being left alone by making loud chattering noises. now sawyer and i are on the hunt together upstairs, with him quiet i hear coopers cry again- i thought it was coming from the garage but when i opened the door he isnt there, just more crying. i open the front door and cooper comes flying crazily inside as if he has never been more happy in his life to be home- he picked up his bone and ran circles. i was in shock- trying to remember if i had let him out thinking there is no way he could have been outside since zach left at 7- but no, i hadnt let him out! and he hadnt been at the door when i got the mail- i think he must have been crying at the basement slider when i first heard him and then he ran to the front door when he saw me go back upstairs yelling his name- i cant believe he was alone outside for 5.5 hours and he didnt leave our yard!!! we have no fence whatsoever and acres of trees behind our house that he loves to explore but he knew better i guess. i have no idea what he must have done that whole time or if he went anywhere.. i didnt even know what to do when he came inside except give him a cookie and tell him good boy like i do every time he comes in.

Working Girl ;)

well, i cant believe that it has been 12 weeks already, sawyer is growing up so incredibly fast! i go back to work this week- tuesday and friday this week- im kinda freaking out- he just loves to nurse so much and hates taking a bottle. It took zach a good hour yesterday to get him to take one ounce because sawyer just has no interest in eating from any of the bottles we have tried. Today he did a little better and actually ate about 2 ounces out of a bottle for me while we were in the car- it just makes me feel sad for him because he dosent like it at all. It is going to be so hard for me to be away from him- i miss him so much even when he is asleep for the night! I think that it will be good for the both of us though- Sawyer is going to get to spend time with his grandparents every week and that will be nice for him and for the gparents. And i will get some adult interaction time outside the house every week which i think will probably be good for me too- as hard as it may be. Plus work is how i have met most of the girls i know with babies/pregnant and its so fun to be able to get the kids together. I am a TINY bit excited to go back because it means that i get to see all my friends at work again, i do miss everyone a lot, even the drs and people in other departments! PLUS i did NOT got the college and work my heiny off for four years to do nothing as easy as that may seem right now i really am not going to throw away everything i worked for even if right now I feel like i want to. I already feel like i have forgotten a lot in the last twelve weeks. I think once a nurse, always a nurse- im still thinking i might be interested in ambulance crew or maybe NICU nursing SOMEDAY, right now my hours and the people i work with are too good so im not going anywhere. Im hoping sawyer will start to take a bottle well because it would be SUPER convenient if he would take a bottle in the car so we could get to the ozarks this summer without him getting crabby in the car since he has now decided he hates his carseat. Im SO excited for nice weather. I cant wait to be able to take sawyer outside to play- AND since this has been the second depressing post in a row.. here are some nice pictures of sawyer outside in the grass for the first time ever a few days ago when it was nice.















whats this mommy?


















sleepy face



















loves to snuggle mommy


































what do you think little man?

















in the stroller like a big big
















cutie

looking back

We went and saw chase's parents last night at linden house for dinner- it was awesome to get to see them and i think it made the week a little easier on us all. it i honestly can't believe that it has been three years already since he has been gone- it seems like yesterday and forever ago all at once and it still sucks. bad. i still wonder what it would be like if he were still around, but maybe things would be exactly the same except him being gone. Its crazy how much things have changed in the last three years- zach and i have gotten engaged, married, moved, and had a baby since he has been gone- i have graduated from college, gotten a job and gone from a life of college parties and sorority life to something a bit more grown up- something I feel like he helped to shape my grownup life even after he was gone- I guess he is at least part of the reason I became an ER nurse- always hoping to just save at least one life... i still remember the night it all happened so clearly, waiting in the ER for news, but it also feels like a dream. I still miss you!

It was nice to get to introduce Sawyer to M and V and he helped keep the mood light. He did pretty good through dinner and v held him for me so i actually got to eat with two hands! And the food was soooo good! I always feel so happy after we get to see them. We were naughty parents though and ended up staying later than we should have talking with m and v and sawyer got sooo tired and threw a fit in the car on the way home- I was the dd as usual and zach could not get him to chill out almost the whole way home- im pretty sure he scares b and k out of ever having children when he melts down like that...

Its funny, zach bought the corvette the month after the accident and now here it is three years later and he is trying to sell it- we no longer have good use for a two seater car..since there are three of us now. And there may be three of us in the family now-plus cooper- but we dont legitimately need three vehicles- even though zach says he is going to sell the vette and buy a newer one because he "needs a cool car" I guess i sorta get it though- now that it is nice out, i do find myself missing my mustang on sunny days- i drive around and it feels like i see mustangs everywhere i go, but there is NO way sawyer would have fit in the backseat of that car. And the corvette is SO fun to drive-i mean, the handful of times i have driven it have been a blast- even more fun than the mustang because its so low, and with the roof off- amazingness! Its amazing that he has been gone almost as long as the amount of time we were good friends with him- but he still impacts our lives, but in a good way! He was a great friend, always so much fun and we will never the time that we spent with him!